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I AM FREE!

I walk down the streets of Jaffna,
No one checks my ID or backpack, no eyebrow raised,
No one asks my whereabouts or where my feet are taking me.
I buy what I want, I head where my head turns,
I am Free!

I wait impatiently for an ice cream at a Dhansala,
I enjoy the bun from St. Anthony’s church,
I walk behind the Vel chariot to be treated with delicacies,
I walk into the mosque and no one asks for my creed,
I am Free!

My friend cheats me, he’s Sinhala,
They cannot be trusted.
My classmate puts me down and boasts of his status,
Tamils – their pride goes before their fall.
My colleague at work is very picky about her food,
Muslims – they are only halal in their food.
I am Free!

I dine at a business party,
Food tastes better when I use my hands,
I’ve to be in my best behaviour,
So starts my table etiquette.
I am Free!

What on earth is she wearing? How hideous is that?
Fashion blunder!!
Thank God for my sense of style,
I can’t afford it but I have the right choice and
I know where to invest.
I am Free!

I’ve to shed those pounds, trim my waist,
Control my mouth and get married soon.
I’ve to build some muscle, get a personality,
Sharpen my photogenic features.
Good looks are all that matters.
I am Free!

I’m sick, I go to the general hospital to find,
“Today doctors are on strike!”
The last day to pay my exam fees,
I toiled hard for the money but can’t make it,
Bus and Train strike!
I am Free!

Thanks to my job, my family has a roof.
I don’t agree with the ideas of my boss,
They challenge my beliefs.
I get paid for my work and if the majority is okay,
Why fret?
I am Free!

AM I FREE?

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My Name is MAHA!

Since I’m four posts old now, you would’ve probably figured out that I come up with whacky titles for my posts 🙂 Yes, they come with a twist, in order to prove a point!

Contemplating for a while, there are certain things in life which we didn’t ask for, but like it or not we’ve got them. For instance,

  • My mother country
  • My family
  • aaaand MY NAME!!

Okay, you guys are probably wondering what I’m trying to say by emphasizing a name??  Well it kept me thinking all my life and a recent argument made me write this post. Well before I speak about the Theological aspect, let me narrate my own story.

My name is M. Antoinette Jerom. And the “M” stands for “Maha“. And before you go on laughing at that, I find it very offending if someone laughs at my name 😉 (Just to make sure we’re on safe grounds). Those who are from Asia and specifically from India and Sri Lanka will have an idea of the meaning of Maha which is reasonably amusing. It refers to Huge or Great. But this is not the reason why I got the name Maha!

Okay, so what ticked me off recently??  It was my cousin! (Typical!) I have a technical blog which I named along with my First Name, http://technomaha.wordpress.com. When he saw the name, he found the sound of Maha to be quite amusing and preferred Ann or Antoinette instead.The reason I named this blog after my name is because I recently discovered the true meaning of my name which I have been hating all my life and never revealed to anyone. And trust me, it took a lot of courage to go public with this.

I was named by my Grand Mother for having big blue eyes when I was born. And it also reminded her of a little girl in Bahrain whom she loved, called Maha. Nevertheless, what Maha really means is,

Arabic name meaning beautiful eyes. Every maha has gorgeous big round eyes, especially when they’re babies.

You’ve got gorgeous blue mahas.“” (Urban Dictionary, n.d.)
The other meaning which also describes my personality is also absolutely correct,
beautiful, kind, great fashion sense, and in love with all the wrong guys. keeps her relationships private. arabic for full moon . has beautiful, large eyes. loyal to her friends and true at heart. serious and mature when first met, hyper and life of party. referred to someone with a strong spirit. known to have a powerful connection with the supernatural and nature. can be weird but lovable. makes plenty of mistakes even though careful. forgives easily and can’t hold grudges. A maha usually has a kind heart and a smile that lights up the world, but if you piss one off, she will kill you.has uncanny love of music. brave and bold and takes a lot to bring down. a maha is smart but has her blonde moments. means young deer in persian, and full/ cresent moon in latin” (Urban Dictionary, n.d.)
I’ve always thought that it was unfair for only God to have the opportunity to decide to name Himself and His Son.
God’s name is revealed in Exodus 3, 14 as “I AM” and the angel of the LORD revealed the Son of Man’s name as “Emmanuel – God with us” in Matthew 1, 23. So why don’t we have the choice of picking our own names??
Just like God chose our motherland, our families so I don’t think that God went wrong with this one either, our Name, which is the Prime identity of a person. My name defines who I am or what I am.
You created my inmost self,
knit me together in my mother’s womb...
Your eyes could see my embryo.
In your book all my days are were inscribed…” (Psalm 139, 13. 16)
I believe in a God described in these verses. If so, can He go wrong in inspiring my Grand mother to choose the name MAHA for me?? I don’t think so!! God sees things beyond human eyes. He knows what we turn out to be at the end. So if you’re a John, Zanta, Hud, Gogula or even a Maha, just CELEBRATE YOURSELF! Be happy for having a unique and beautiful name! God won’t be amused with your name, unless you turn out to be sarcastic with having a name called “Jesus” and turn out to be a “Lucifer” 😀
After almost 21 years, I discovered that I’ve not only got the perfect name, but also turned out to be what it really means 😀 So I’m proud to be known as Maha and I do not care what the world thinks of it, because God chose the best for me! 😀
I was baptized in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit as Maha Antoinette Jerom!